There is a post titled ‘Can We Stop Pretending That Learning a Language Is Easy?’ on the top of my drafts folder. I started typing it after I saw one of those ads, promoting ‘Learn any language in 7 days!’ or whatever it was that time. I might have been home from my trip to Rio for a day or two, and I knew that I had been ignoring my intended posting schedule.
So I started writing. Then I looked at the incomplete sentences on the page, saved and closed it and haven’t gone back since.
What was the point in posting when my life was crumbling apart around me?
OK, that might have been a little dramatic. The image I’m trying to create is not of a suddenly collapsing wall, an earthquake that shakes my being to the core and leaves behind only dust and destruction. It is more like an ancient city, slowly deteriorating as its habitats pack their bags and start their slow journey out. I have been watching that city’s colours fade out in the sun and the paint on its walls starting to chip off, and I’ve turned a blind eye to it. I’m sure it’s gonna be fine.
But sometimes in life you can’t just go with the flow and hope for the best. Sometimes in life you have to take control.
The truth is that I have – as the title would have it – been going through some changes recently. Some? More like major life changes that have turned my plans upside down. It seems I have given up the future I had planned for myself, and now the road ahead is dark and unpaved… But at the same time exciting, enticing, seductive – full of strange, wonderful chances. And maybe I am a little bit lost. I have left behind someone who I thought would always be ahead of me; I am not quite sure where my career is going; and I’m starting to think I’m not the person I thought I was.
Am I OK? I guess so. If not, I will be.
This might all seem awfully cryptic but I don’t know how to say the things on my mind right now. Words escape me in a way they have never before. And to me it seemed important to write this messed up, scrambled effort of a note anyway, if not to apologise for a long absence but to announce the start of a new era.
There are gonna be some changes to this blog. (I’m not the only thing changing around here!) Its content is not going to change because frankly, while my articles might not be very SEO friendly (lol at me for thinking I know anything about SEO), they are the kind of things I want to share. I want to work on my prose more and publish even more stories. I want to share this crazy life on the road with whoever is reading it. And I’m not promising I will be back – no, I am back now, and as I try to make sense of this strange, beautiful new life ahead of me, I want to document it as I go.
Thanks for you patience. Stay tuned for more.