It’s been a while! Hope you’re doing well – it sure has been a strange year.
I’m sorry you haven’t heard from me in a while. Look, maybe bitch took a break but maybe the past five months haven’t actually happened and some of us are still mentally processing March? I know you were busy watching Tiger King and practicing TikTok dances anyway so I knew you’d be good. But now the era of trashy tiger TV is over and I’m BACK.
The past few months have been a wave, an ebb and a flow of happy and sad. I’ve been falling in and out of feelings with pretty boys and players and even myself. I’ve started a new writing job and gone back to scribbling stories that no one pays me for. Having cats in the house has been the best thing and knowing that I need to get them adopted out soon breaks my heart. (Who needs a loving home anyway? Sounds suss to me.)
Happiness has struck me in same ways as sorrow: suddenly and unexpectedly, completely enveloping me when those moments have occurred. I’d like to think there has been more stifling hot sunshine than tropical storms lately.
Just last weekend I lay on the couch between the friends I didn’t know I would make this year. We were at our new villa, half-eaten charcuterie board on the coffee table and cookies waiting in the fridge. Kites of all shapes and sizes speckled the baby-blue sky. Windy season had followed the rain of the first half of the year, and the Balinese had been out flying their kites ever since.
The kites here are impressive structures. Often their wingspan reaches from one side of the road to another, and you have to be careful not to get whacked off your scooter when they pass you. Often they’re transported in two-man teams, one boy maneuvering the scooter and another sat on the back holding the massive kite above his head.
While butterflies, hawks and even phalluses now soar high just for the fun of it, not everyone here flies a kite just for leisure. Traditionally, the bird- or leaf-shaped kites were meant to deliver messages to gods, and often a priest blesses a kite before its first flight.
Chelsey had brought her guitar and she was singing now, Wise men say only fools rush in… I stared at the kites, letting their steady swaying hypnotise me. This song had followed me from the first weeks that I’d arrived here, and maybe I had thought it was to prophesise an introduction of a new lover, but I have started to believe that maybe its message was meant for the island itself. Cause I can’t help falling in love with you…
A peaceful happiness spread over me then. I have spent so much time escaping from cities that never gave me excuses to stay but in that moment, I couldn’t think of a good reason to leave. Maybe there is a word for that specific feeling in German or Japanese, but that Sunday afternoon words escaped me, and I lay down and watched the kites with a smile.
Hope you’re doing well (and you’ll come visit as soon as the borders open again!)